Good things about growing old:
• I now have fewer visits to the barber.
• My wife no longer asks me to remember things for her. She has either given up on me or I don’t remember her asking me to remember things for her.
• I no longer have to worry about my car starting up on a cold morning. I just worry about the ability to get my body in the car to attempt the start up.
• I no longer worry about being sore after exercising. I just worry about whether I will be alive or not.
• I no longer worry about having a ‘spare tire’ around my waist. I now worry about the tread pattern and the ply of the spare tire around my waste.
• I am no longer offended when strangers tell me what a beautiful daughter I have as I am on an errand with my wife.
• I can now enjoy the lush and luxurious hair growth I have in my nostrils, in my ears, and on my eyebrows since I have no hair growth on my head.
• ‘Comb-overs’ from my eyebrows, nose hair, and ear hair are now possible.