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justfuncrucible (Finding peace in trying times ** )

Family Crucibles — by E. Jeffrey Hill — Finding peace in trying times

Highlights from an excellent article by Jeffrey Hill, helping us find peace in trying times:

  • I ask my university students to memorize three sayings that will help them find family peace:
    • Life is hard but you can do hard things (life deals us all hard situations, but the fight is worth it).
    • Make the best of it (don’t dwell on what has gone wrong; dwell on what has gone right).
    • Things take time (life is a journey, not a single event).
  • Crucibles are furnace-tolerant vessels that purge away impurities and create quality final-products, such as steel and alloys.
  • In this article, crucibles are high-temperature challenges and problems that facilitate family growth and unity.
  • Through heat and pressure, families can become more humble and sincere, more charitable, more motivated, and resistant to breakage.
  • Family crises tend to bring out the best and the worst in families.  They can rip families apart or cause families to reorganize themselves in more positive ways.
  • An average family can expect to go through 3 or more extreme family crucibles.
  • Ten principles to help families as they go through challenging times:
    • Be prepared — practice principles of preparedness (emotional, social, physical, spiritual)
    • Involve family members, as appropriate — keep everyone informed, communicate one-on-one
    • Seek outside resources and support — use trusted sources as mentors
    • Develop a long-term, growth-oriented perspective — see trials as opportunities to grow, celebrate small victories
    • Take positive action, do what you can — don’t succumb to feelings of helplessness, do something: concentrate on what you can do, not on what you can’t do
    • Find comfort in everyday family life — keep doing the things that have fortified your family in the past; don’t give up on good things
    • Seek out soul-soothing environments — music, poetry, literature, outdoor activities
    • Take care of yourself and your family — good meals, exercise, sufficient sleep
    • Trust in a higher power — strengthen your religious traditions, look to God
    • Endure to the end — be more charitable, more giving, more compassionate, jettison bitterness and strife
  • “Pain is inevitable, but misery is optional.”  – Barbara J. Johnson
  • Things take time; things happen; good things take work.

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