Twelve Reasons why there is close harmony between the BYU athletic programs and the LDS Church
(Note: The following list is offered with tongue-in-cheek and with a hope that all who read it will realize it is a die-hard Cougar fan’s feeble attempt at humor!)
- LaVell Edwards is indeed “the one mighty and strong” referred to in D&C 85:7
- Cougar Club members constitute “the Church of the Firstborn” mentioned in D&C 88:5
- Cougar Stadium football ticket stubs can, under certain circumstances, be used as alternative temple recommends
- Anyone with a vanity license plate that incorporates the letters “BYU” gets preferential parking at LDS temples and chapels
- Sons of former BYU quarterbacks are given top priority in obtaining dates with daughters of LDS General Authorities
- BYU athletic coaches and players are only asked to pay 5% tithing in any given year in which they defeat the University of Wyoming
- Brigham Young did NOT found the University of Utah. He founded the University of Deseret, which by sheer happenstance, occupied the same location on which the University of Utah now stands
- Parents of blue-chip LDS high school athletes who sign letters-of-intent with BYU immediately have their calling and election made sure
- There is a movement underway to have the interiors of all LDS chapels redecorated in Cougar blue and white
- Steve Young, Robbie Bosco, and Johnny Miller are, in actuality, the Three Nephites
- Ty Detmer’s Heisman Trophy is stored in the First Presidency’s vault at Church Headquarters along with other sacred church icons
- The BYU football playbook is soon to be canonized as Section 139 of the D&C
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