You Might Be A Mormon IF —
You might be a Mormon IF —
v If all your dishes have your name written on them with masking tape.
v If you postdate your checks while shopping on Sunday.
v If you believe Heck is the place for people who don’t believe in Gosh.
v If your mother was pregnant at any of your siblings’ wedding receptions.
v If you pray that your donuts and diet Coke will ‘nourish and strengthen your body’.
v If you think that Jell-O is one of the four basic food groups.
v If at least one of your salad bowls is at a neighbors’ house.
v If you’ve ever written a ‘Dear John’ letter to more than two missionaries on the same day.
v If you have one child in diapers and another child on a mission.
v If you have never arrived at a church meeting on time.
v If you have more wheat stored in your basement than most third world countries.
v If you’ve already got your order in for volume 50 of ‘The Work and The Glory’ series.
v If you think it is okay to watch football on Sundays as long as a direct descendant of Brigham Young is playing.
v If you have to guess more than four times at the name of the child you are disciplining.
v If you assume BYOB means ‘Bring Your Own Burgers’.
v If you go to a party and someone spikes the punch with Mountain Dew.
v If you arrive at an activity an hour late and you are still the first person there.