The True Origin of the Internet
In ancient Israel, it came to pass that a trader called Abraham of Com did take unto himself a young wife by the name of Dot. And Dot of Com was a comely woman, broad of shoulder and long of leg. Indeed, she had been called ‘Amazon Dot Com’. Dot said unto Abraham, her husband, “Why dost thou travel far, from town to town, with thy goods when thou canst trade without ever leaving thy tent?” Abraham looked at his wife as though she was several saddle bags short of a camel load, but simply said, “How wouldst this come to pass?” Dot replied, “I will place drums in all the towns and drums along the roads between them to send messages saying what you have for sale and they will reply, telling you which offer hath the best price. And lo the sale will be made on the drums and delivery made by Uriah’s Pony Stable (UPS).” Abraham thought long and hard and decided he would let Dot have her way with the drums. The drums rang out and were an immediate success. Abraham sold all the goods he had at the top price without ever moving from his tent. But this success did arouse envy.
A man named Maccabia did secrete (look it up, it means to hide!) himself inside Abraham’s largest drum and was thus accused of insider trading. The young man did take to Dot Com’s trading as doth the greedy horsefly to camel dung. And lo, the land was so feverish with joy at the new riches and the deafening sound of drums that no one noticed the real riches were going to the drum maker, one William of Gates, who bought up every drum company in the land and indeed did insist on making drums that would work only with Gates’ drumheads and drumsticks. And Dot did say, “Oh, Abraham, what we have started is being taken over by others.” And as Abraham looked out over the Bay of Ezekiel, or as it came to be known, eBay, he said, “We need a name that reflects what we are.” And Dot
replied, “Young Ambitious Hebrew Owner Operators.” “YAHOO!” shouted Abraham. And that is how it all began. Al of Gore had nothing to do with it.