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Becoming Illegal (Actual letter from an Iowa resident sent to his senator ** )


The Honorable Senator Tom Harkin, 731 Hart Senate Office Building,  Phone (202)
224  3254
WashingtonDC , 20510

Dear Senator Harkin,

As a native Iowan and excellent customer of the Internal Revenue
Service, I am writing to ask for your assistance. I have contacted the
Department of Homeland Security in an effort to determine the process for
becoming an illegal alien and they referred me to you.  

My primary reason for wishing to change my status from U.S. Citizen to
illegal alien stems from the bill which was recently passed by the Senate
and for which you voted. If my understanding of this bill is accurate, as
an illegal alien who has been in the United States for five years, all I
need to do to become a citizen is to pay a $2,000 fine and income taxes
for only three of the last five years. I know a good deal when I see one
and I am anxious to get the process started before everyone figures
it out.

Simply put, those of us who have been here legally have had
to pay taxes every year, so I’m excited about the prospect of avoiding two
years of taxes in return for paying a $2,000 fine. Is there any way that I
can apply to be illegal retroactively? This would yield an excellent
result for me and my family because we paid heavy taxes in 2004
and 2005. Additionally, as an illegal alien I could begin using the
local emergency room as my primary health care provider. Once I have
stopped paying premiums for medical insurance, my accountant figures I could
save almost $10,000 a year.

Another benefit in gaining illegal status would be that my daughter would
receive preferential treatment relative to her law school applications, as
well as ‘in-state’ tuition rates for many colleges throughout the United States for my son.

Lastly, I understand that illegal status would relieve me of the burden of
renewing my driver’s license and making those burdensome car insurance
premiums. This is very important to me, given that I still have college age
children driving my car. If you would provide me with an outline of the
process to become illegal (retroactively if possible) and copies of the
necessary forms, I would be most appreciative.  Thank you for
your assistance

Your Loyal Constituent, (hoping to reach ‘illegal alien’ status rather
than just a bonafide citizen of the USA)

Donald Ruppert
, IA


Get your Forms (NOW)!! Call your Internal Revenue
Service at  1-800-289-1040



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