I’m My Own Grandpa
Many, many years ago, when I was twenty-three
I was married to a widow who was pretty as can be,
This widow had a grown daughter whose hair was fiery red,
My father fell in love with her and soon they too were wed.
This made my dad my son-in-law and changed my very life
My daughter was my mother for she was my father’s wife.
To complicate this matter even though it brought me joy
I soon became the father of a bouncing baby boy.
My little baby then became a brother-in-law to my dad
And so became my uncle though it made me very sad
For if he was my uncle then that made him the brother
Of the widow’s grown-up daughter who of course was my step-mother.
Father’s wife then had a son who kept his parents on the run
And he became my grandchild for he was my daughter’s son.
My wife is was now my mother’s mom and it made me very blue
Because although she is my wife she is my grandmother too.
Now if my wife is my grandmother then of course I’m her grandchild
And every time I think of it it nearly drives me wild
For now I have become the strangest case you ever saw
As husband of my grandmother, I’m my own grandpa.