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justfun171 (marquee signs ** )

Church Marquee signs


Here are some humorous anecdotes that enterprising pastors have placed on their marquees to attract converts:

  • You many want to party in hell, but you will be the barbecue. 
  • Keep using my name in vain, and I will make your rush hour longer.  Sincerely, God 
  • There are some questions that can’t be answered by Google. 
  • Honk if you love Jesus.  Text while driving if you want to meet Him. 
  • Thou shalt not steal the copper from our air conditioning unit. 
  • Read the Bible.  It is user-friendly plus we offer tech support here on Sunday at 10 am. 
  • Church parking.  Trespassers will be baptized. 
  • Whoever is praying for snow, please stop.  ( The sign was almost buried in deep snow.) 
  • To be “almost” saved is to be “totally” lost. 
  • How do we make holy water?  We boil the hell out of it.  (The First Church of Awesome Works) 
  • What is missing from “Ch__ch”?  U  R! 
  • Adam blamed Eve, Eve blamed the serpent, and the serpent didn’t have a leg to stand on. 
  • Every day above ground is a good one. 
  • The best vitamin for a Christian is  B 1  ! 
  • Try our Sundays.  They are better than Baskin Robbins. 
  • You are not too bad that you can’t come in.  You are not so good that you can afford to stay out. 
  • Can’t sleep?  Try counting your blessings. 
  • Try Jesus!  If you don’t like Him, the Devil will always take you back. 
  • Aspire to inspire before you expire. 
  • Where will you be sitting in eternity?  Smoking or non?

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