Select Page

justfun171 (marquee signs ** )

Church Marquee signs

Here are some humorous anecdotes that enterprising pastors have placed on their marquees to attract converts:

  • You many want to party in hell, but you will be the barbecue.
  • Keep using my name in vain, and I will make your rush hour longer.  Sincerely, God
  • There are some questions that can’t be answered by Google.
  • Honk if you love Jesus.  Text while driving if you want to meet Him.
  • Thou shalt not steal the copper from our air conditioning unit.
  • Read the Bible.  It is user-friendly plus we offer tech support here on Sunday at 10 am.
  • Church parking.  Trespassers will be baptized.
  • Whoever is praying for snow, please stop.  ( The sign was almost buried in deep snow.)
  • To be “almost” saved is to be “totally” lost.
  • How do we make holy water?  We boil the hell out of it.  (The First Church of Awesome Works)
  • What is missing from “Ch__ch”?  U  R!
  • Adam blamed Eve, Eve blamed the serpent, and the serpent didn’t have a leg to stand on.
  • Every day above ground is a good one.
  • The best vitamin for a Christian is  B 1  !
  • Try our Sundays.  They are better than Baskin Robbins.
  • You are not too bad that you can’t come in.  You are not so good that you can afford to stay out.
  • Can’t sleep?  Try counting your blessings.
  • Try Jesus!  If you don’t like Him, the Devil will always take you back.
  • Aspire to inspire before you expire.
  • Where will you be sitting in eternity?  Smoking or non?

Click here to return to the Jokes and Puns Menu page
Click here to return to the Scriptural Jokes Menu page
Click here to return to the Main Menu page