The Best Headlines for 2007!
The following headlines actually appeared in newspapers in 2007. The comments in parentheses are editorial comments, not part of the headline.
v Crack found on governor’s daughter (that must have hurt!)
v Something went wrong in jet crash, expert says (no kidding!)
v Police begin campaign to run down jaywalkers (that’s a bit harsh, don’t you think?)
v Panda mating fails; veterinarian takes over (service above and beyond the call of duty!)
v Miners refuse to work after death (those lazy bums!)
v Juvenile court to try shooting defendant (we’ll see that justice is served one way or another!)
v War dims hope for peace (not hard to imagine it might have that effect)
v If strike isn’t settled quickly, it may last awhile (go figure)
v Cold wave linked to temperatures (who would have thought?)
v London couple slain; police suspect homicide (they may be on to something)
v Red tape holds up new bridges (surely the red tape is not as strong as duct tape!)
v Man struck by lightning: he faces battery charge (he probably IS the battery charge!)
v New study on obesity looks for larger test group (the first group wasn’t large enough?)
v Astronaut takes blame for gas in spacecraft (beans and spacecraft obviously don’t mix)
v Kids make nutritious snacks (taste like chicken?)
v Local high school dropouts cut in half (yet another chainsaw massacre?)
v Hospital sued by 7 foot doctors (those are some tall doctors!)
v Typhoon rips through cemetery: hundreds dead (great, now where do we bury them?)
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