BCS (Bowl Championship Series) Bologna!
The BCS (Bowl Championship Series, or Bologna Comes Sliced!) has declared Germany the winner of World War II — The US is Ranked 4th
After determining the 2008 National Championship, the BCS computers were put to work on other major contests and today the BCS declared Germany to be
the winner of World War II.
“Germany put together an incredible number of victories beginning with the annexation of Austria and the Sudetenland and continuing on into conference play with
defeats of Poland, France, Norway, Sweden, Denmark, Belgium and the Netherlands. Their only losses came against the US and Russia; however, considering their
entire series of battles, combined with an incredibly tough Strength of Schedule, our computers deemed them worthy of the #1 ranking.”
Questioned about the #4 ranking of the United States, the BCS commissioner stated: “The US only had two major victories–Japan and Germany. The computer models, unlike humans, aren’t influenced by head-to-head contests. They consider each contest to be only a single, equally-weighted event.”
German Chancellor Adolf Hitler said “Yes, we lost to the US; but we defeated #2 ranked France in only 6 weeks.” Herr Hitler has been criticized for seeking dramatic victories to earn ‘style points’ to enhance Germany’s rankings. Hitler protested by saying: “Our contest with Poland was in doubt until the final day and the conditions in Norway were incredibly challenging and demanded the application of additional forces.”
The French ranking has also come under scrutiny. The BCS commented: “France had a single loss against Germany and following a preseason #1 ranking they only fell to #2.”
Japan was ranked #3 with victories over Manchuria, Borneo and the Philippines.