Provo Surgical Center work party — 1997
In November of 1997, Susan and I attended our annual work party. The organizers of the party had asked me to prepare a brief presentation dealing with the center, as this was our 15-year anniversary. After much deliberation, I came up with the following limericks ( I have removed specific names to maintain anonymity):
We have a fine doctor named _______;
He’s not rough, crude, uncouth, mean, or wayward.
. He calms troubled seas,
. Handles problems with ease,
In fact, he’s leading us all millenial-dayward.
Dr. _____ loves to vacation,
He’s a specialist in Alaskan recreation.
. By snowmobile, boat, or plane,
. From Anchorage to Maine,
He’s always off to an inviting destination.
_____ _____, now he runs our fine center,
To all of us, he indeed is our mentor.
. We sit at his feet,
. With his wisdom replete,
His policies and views are rarely off-center.
Our office girls are jovial and gay,
They know how to work, they know how to play.
. Matching hair-dos so dandy,
. Desk drawers stuffed full of candy,
They’re practically perfect in every way.
________ ______ is always on cue,
Mistakes that she’s made? Oh, so few.
. She’s as great as her brother,
. So much like her mother,
Thank heavens not much like her nephew.
_____ _____ once said to her staff,
“I can’t believe it, don’t make me laugh,
. Your working conditions are fine,
. They’re much better than mine,
Now back to work, we’re paying you time and a half.”
Dear _____ has more drive than a truck,
When she shifts into gear we all duck
. She leaves us all weak,
. Her energy never does peak,
If we keep up with her it’s sheer luck.
We’ve lost two great employees, _____ & _______,
To our hearts this has brought endless pain,
. They were employees so fine,
. Close to your heart and mine,
Our great loss was the mission field’s gain.
Three male nurses now work at PSC,
We have ___, we have _____, and _____.
. They take a lot of flack
. That our ladies heap on their backs,
But, as men, they rise above such triviality.
At PSC we tend to specialize,
In tubes, tonsils, teeth, toes, and eyes.
. What we all wouldn’t give,
. Oh, for this we all live,
Just one case where we could catheterize.
We recently cared for a man with a hernia.
Who said to Doc ______, “Golldurnia,
. When you carve on my middle,
. Be sure not to fiddle,
With things that do not concernia.”
One of our surgeons once pinched a scrub nurse,
Who shot back this vehement curse,
. “Try that again,
. You lowest of men,
And your viscera I’ll promptly disperse!”
Our ACLS course was fun galore,
We studied more info than our brains could store.
. Norepinephrine, intubation,
. CPR, defibrillation,
______ said, “Rhythm strips? Please, no more!”
There are some things Dr. ______ dearly loves,
Hernias, hydroceles, cysts, double gloves,
. Keep the OR temp very low,
. Don’t cough, sneeze, sniff, or blow,
And don’t you dare mention his low-riding scrubs.
___ once owned a lime-green polyester leisure suit,
It had 4-inch lapels, he wore it with beta boots,
. He once wore it with pride,
. On a date with a prospective bride,
Fortunately, ________, lime was not her favorite fruit.
Now _____ is single you know,
But she has no desire to remain so.
. She has found Mr. Right,
. She’s tying the knot good and tight,
To that reception we’ll all gladly go.
This brings me at last to the end,
No longer your ears will I bend,
. You’re the greatest people around,
. None better could ever be found,
To all of you my love I send.
In general, I think the limericks were well-received and enjoyed by most. I enjoyed delivering them, and I hope they contributed to a very fun and entertaining evening.
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