An unfortunate disciplinary council — 1992
In July of 1992 I participated in one of the most sobering experiences of my life. Our bishop, Bishop Arben Andersen, convened a disciplinary council for a 22 year-old young woman in our ward whom I had known for 6 years. This girl was a faithful, devoted LDS youth, and was raised in a loving home. She was sweet, amiable, spiritually-minded, and a delight to be around. I was dumbfounded and heartsick when the bishop informed us of the upcoming disciplinary council. My pleasant recollections of this young lady were dashed as she arrived for the council; she was a very changed individual, and unfortunately, much for the worse. She was hardened, abrupt, and distant; gone were the traits I so admired her for in the past. The ravages of repeated sin and deceit were apparent in her countenance and behavior. She acted as if she had never met me before. I could appreciate that some of the behavior was due to the circumstance in which we met, but how my heart ached as I viewed the changes in this young lady. She freely and almost proudly admitted to having a prolonged (16 month) adulterous affair with a married man, who was the father of 4 and served on his stake’s high council during most of those 16 months. We all hoped for and looked for any signs of remorse, regret, or godly sorrow. None were found. Instead, we were presented with shallow and transparent justifications for her conduct, such as “his wife didn’t appreciate or love him”, “my parents were too strict with me”, “I wanted to exert my independence”, “I just couldn’t deny or fight my feelings for him anymore”, etc. Her reasoning and explanations literally dripped with inconsistencies, and I was saddened to see the tangible wages of sin so apparent in this young woman. Not a tear was shed, not a hint of regret was voiced, not a glimmer of the spirit was evident. She agreed to talk with the Bishop only after her parents uncovered the sordid facts of her affair. She gave pathetic, unemotional responses when asked about her testimony, the Savior, righteousness, and obedience, while just 2 or 3 years before she was devoted and faithful. She appeared to be a living testimony of 2 Nephi 28: 20-23, wherein the adversary pacifies, lulls one into carnal security, cheats one’s soul, leads one away very carefully into reprehensible sin, flatters, whispers in one’s ears, and eventually entangles one in his awful chains. Due to the protracted nature of the sin, the lives she tainted, and her unrepentant attitude, the Spirit dictated that excommunication was the proper action for this young woman. Our ward clerk gave an impassioned but uninspired plea for leniency, but Bishop Andersen helped him understand the necessity of our decision. She accepted our decision very matter-of-factly, with the only demonstrable sign of feeling being one of relief that the council was over. My heart ached for her and for her parents, and for her lack of desire to make the needed changes in her life to once again enjoy the blessings of a Christ-centered life, yet I was at peace knowing that the Lord’s will had been done. Her countenance, her words, and her facade will be vivid memories for years to come.
As a wonderful postscript to this experience, I should mention that I saw this girl’s parents in October of 1997, and they told me that this young woman was now rebaptized and active in the Church. My hope would be that her excommunication caused her to realize how dear the Gospel and the Spirit truly are.
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