classicsrepswk

Elder Spencer W. Kimball, speaking on morality and sexual purity

.     A young couple knocked on the door of their bishop’s home.  The bishop, who was home alone, invited them in.  The boy’s deep pleasant voice was just what one might expect from the talk athletic youth who possessed it.  With him was a lovely girl with glistening black hair, slight of frame and beautiful of face and form.  After all were seated, the boy spoke with a low and hesitant voice.  “We have broken the law of chastity.  We feel sorry and knew that we should come to you.”  After a few moments of silence, the girl spoke.  “I didn’t think I’d ever commit this sin  At church I have heard that necking and petting were sins, but I guess I didn’t’ believe it.”  The bishop listened without interrupting.  The boy spoke again.  “That date when we went to the fair was a very special one, but it turned out to be the beginning of our troubles.  When I went to get her that day, I thought no girl was ever so beautiful and so sweet.  After the date we spent a long time before she went into her house.  We started kissing and necking.  Neither of us realized what was happening to us.  Before we knew it, we were petting.  After that we petted very time we were together.  We told ourselves that it was not so wrong because we sort of belonged to each other anyway.  It kept getting worse and finally the terrible thing happened.  We didn’t think it ever would, and it wasn’t until after it happened that we began to realize how wrong it was.  We hated ourselves.  She suggested we pray, but I told her I felt too unworthy.  I wanted to hide from the Lord, from everybody.”
.     The bishop sat deep in thought, praying fervently that the Lord would inspire him to help them.  They seemed to want to talk and release their sadness.  “I am so ashamed,” she said.  “After it happened, I hated myself.  I kept thinking why, why, why.  I couldn’t sleep that night.  I felt so unclean.  I bathed again, scrubbed, washed my hair, put on fresh clothes.  But I still seemed filthy.  I felt like hiding.  I wondered why I was so sad and ashamed.  Other people had done this ugly thing.  It did not seem to wreck them.  They seemed to pass it off with a shrug of the shoulders.  However, I….”  And now they sat very still, very close, waiting.  The bishop was deep in thought.  His heart was sobbing for them.  “Please, Father, bless me that I may help them,”  he said silently.  “Can we ever be forgiven?”  they asked.  “Yes,” he replied, “the Lord and his church can forgive, but not easily.  The way of the sinner is hard.  It has ever been so, and it always will be so.  The Lord himself said: “I tell thee, thou shall not depart thence, till thou hast paid the very last mite.”  (Luke 12:59)  “But in His goodness, God provided for us a way to forgiveness.  One may break the laws, but he cannot avoid penalties.  God is just.  Paul said, “Be not deceived; God is not mocked; for whatsoever a man soweth, that shall he also reap.”  (Galatians 6:7)  “As serious as the thing you have done is, there is forgiveness if you totally repent.  The Lord said, “Behold, he who has repented of his sins, the same is forgiven, and I, the Lord  remember them no more…”  (Doctrine and Covenants 58:42).  He also promised, “…though your sins be as scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they be red like crimson, they shall be as wool.”  (Isaiah 1:18)
.     The young man spoke in a hopeful voice, “How do we repent?”  The bishop answered: “You must come to a realization of the seriousness of the error.  There are sins which cannot be forgiven, but fortunately most can be.  The shedding of innocent blood and denying the Holy Ghost are both unforgivable.  Neither of you has committed the sin against the Holy Ghost for that requires more knowledge than either of you has.  Neither of you has committed murder, and therefore we may say that every sin that you may have committed can be forgiven.  Next to the unforgivable sins come sexual sins.  Some such sins may be committed with oneself and some with another person.  Conscience tells the individual when he is committing this sin.  These unholy practices are condemned by the Lord and his Church.  Some may be worse than others, but all are sin.  The Lord’s prophets declare they are not normal.  Some people in the world may say premarital sex experiences are all right, but the Lord and his Church condemn them.  Every sex relationship outside of marriage is wrong.  Such evil practices were condemned by ancient prophets and are today condemned by the Church.  The sin you committed is wrong and the Lord holds you both responsible.  You cannot blame anyone for your mistake except yourselves.  To blame our sins upon the Lord, saying it is inherent and cannot be controlled, is cheap and weak.  To blame our sins upon our parents and our upbringing is the way of the coward.  One’s parents may not have taught him, his background may have been bad, but as sons and daughters of a living God we have within ourselves the power to rise above our circumstances, to change our lives.  We will be punished for our sins.  We must accept responsibility for our sins.  We must control and master self.”
.     The lovely girl now said: “We knew that what we did was wrong, but we did not fully realize how very serious it was.”  “I am sure of that.” the bishop said.  “That is why I have explained the consequences.  Some couples think that when they are going steady or become engaged they can do things they couldn’t do before.  They have relaxed their standards.  They turn themselves loose to necking with its intimate contacts and its passionate kissing.  It is a dangerous practice leading to other trouble.  Necking leads to petting.  Petting is surely the sin condemned by the Savior when he said: “Ye have heard that it was said by them of old time, Thou shalt not commit adultery; But I say unto you, That whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart.”  ((Matthew 5:27-28)  Thus petting is like unto adultery.  The Lord recognized that this sin is the devil’s way of leading us to the final acts of adultery.  can a person in the light of the Lord’s scriptures engage in petting with a clear conscience?  Can anyone convince himself that it is not deep sin?”
.     The young couple now had many questions which carried the bishop on in explanation.  “Are fornication and adultery the same?” they asked.  “Sexual sin is called fornication when committed by those who are unmarried and adultery when committed by the married.  The two terms are often interchanged in scriptures.  When we say that the sexual sins are forgivable, this does not mean it is easy to gain forgiveness.  Even though it is hard to gain forgiveness, it is something that must be done.  For as Paul said: ‘…no whoremonger, nor unclean person…hath any inheritance in the kingdom of Christ and of God.’ (Ephesians 5:5)  And Nephi writes: ‘…the kingdom of God is not filthy, and there cannot any unclean thing enter into the kingdom of God; wherefore there must needs be a place of filthiness prepared for that which is filthy.’  (1 Nephi 15:34)  The Lord commands: ‘Thou shalt not commit adultery, and he that committeth adultery, and repenteth not, shall be cast out. (Doctrine and Covenants 42:24)  The young man asked, “Does ‘cast out’ mean excommunication, being cut out of the Church?”  The bishop explained, “If a sinner continues rebellious, he should be disfellowshipped or excommunicated.  One disfellowshipped is forbidden to exercise his priesthood and is denied the blessings of the Church such as sacrament, temple privileges, and Church activity.  Excommunication is a complete cutting of all ties.  One loses membership, the Holy Ghost, priesthood, sealings, and all Church privileges.”
.     The young folks were listening intently but with growing concern, and she finally asked, “How then can we ever get into the kingdom of heaven?”  The bishop answered, “It is true – no unclean thing can enter into the kingdom, but a totally repentant person is no longer an unclean person.  A fully forgiven adulterer is no longer an adulterer.  He is presumed to be free from filth.”  This splendid young couple had made their decision.  They were ready to comply with any requirement no matter how hard it may be.  They drew a little closer to each other and asked, “Bishop, what do we have to do?”  The bishop continued, “Repentance seems to fall into five steps:  1) Sorrow for sin  2) Abandonment of sin  3) Confession of sin  4) Restitution for sin  5) Doing the will of the Lord.
.     1. SORROW FOR SIN — “When we become fully aware of the seriousness of the wrong we have done, we decide with all our heart ot do whatever is necessary to rid ourselves of the effects of the sin.  We are totally sorry.  We are willing to pay penalties, to suffer even to excommunication if necessary.  Paul wrote: ‘For godly sorrow worketh repentance to salvation, not to be repented of, but the sorrow of the world worketh death.’  (2 Corinthians 7:10)  If one is sorry only because someone found out about his sin, his repentance is not complete.  Godly sorrow causes one to want to repent even though he has not been caught by others and makes him determined to do right no matter what happens.  This kind of sorrow brings righteousness and will work toward forgiveness.”
.     2. ABANDONMENT OF SIN — “It is best when one stops sinning because he becomes aware of the seriousness of his sin.  He then should want to comply with all the laws of God.  The thief may abandon his evil in prison, but true repentance would have him forsake it before his arrest and return what he had stolen voluntarily.  The sex offender who voluntarily stops his sin is headed toward forgiveness.  Alma said ” ‘…blessed are they who humble themselves without being compelled to be humble…’  (Alma 32:16)  The Lord also said, ‘By this ye may know if a man repenteth of his sins — behold, he will confess them and forsake them.’  (Doctrine and Covenants 58:43)  The forsaking of sin must be a permanent one.  True repentance does not permit making the same mistake again.  Peter said, ‘For if after they have escaped the pollutions of the world…they are again entangled therein, …it had been better for them not to have known the way of righteousness, than, after they have known it, to turn from the commandment…like the dog is turned to his own vomit again, and the sow that was washed to her wallowing in the more.’  (2 Peter 2:20-22)  Also, the Lord said; ‘…go your ways and sin no more, but unto that would who sinneth shall the former sins return…’  (Doctrine and Covenants 82:7)  Also, the Savior said to the adultress taken in the act of sin: ‘Go thy way and sin no more…’  (Ephesians 4:28) ”
.     3. CONFESSION OF SIN — The Bishop said, “The confession of sin is an important part of repentance.  Many sinners have seemed to feel that a few prayers to the Lord were all that was necessary.  They have thus excused themselves and hidden their sins.  Solomon observed, ‘He that covereth his sins shall not prosper, but whoso confesseth and forsaketh them shall have mercy.’ (Proverbs 28:13)  The Lord also said, ‘By this ye may know if a man repenteth of his sins — behold, he will confess them and forsake them.’ (Doctrine and Covenants 58:43)  Especially serious errors such as sexual sins shall be confessed to the branch president or bishop as well as to the Lord.  There are two remissions which one might wish to have.  First, the forgiveness of the Lord’s Church through its proper leaders.  And second, the forgiveness of the Lord.  As soon as one has an inner conviction of his sins, he shold to to the Lord in ‘mighty prayer’ as did Enos, and never cease his prayer until he shall, like Enos, receive the assurance that his sins have been forgiven by the Lord.  It is unthinkable that God forgives sins which are serious after just a few prayers.  He is likely to wait until there has been long, sustained repentance as shown by a willingness to live all his commandments.  The Lord has a consistent, orderly plan.  Every soul is given a branch president or bishop who, by the very nature of his calling and ordination, is a ‘judge in Israel’.  The bishop can be one’s best earthly friend.  He will hear the problem, judge the seriousness thereof, determine the degree of the person’s repentance and decide if it warrants an eventual forgiveness.  He does this as the earthly representative of God.  If repentance is sufficient he may waive penalties which is sometimes called forgiveness.  When one talks to the branch president or bishop, he knows that the leader will not tell anyone anything about what those involved told him unless disciplinary action is required.”
.     4. RESTITUTION FOR SIN — “When one is humble in sorrow, has completely stopped the sin, and confessed to those assigned by the Lord, he should next restore, insofar as possible, that which was damaged.  If he has stolen, he should return to the rightful owner that which was stolen.  Perhaps one reason murder is unforgivable is that, having taken a life, the murderer cannot restore it.  Restitution in full  is not possible.  Also, having robbed someone of virtue, it is impossible to give it back.  However, the truly repentant person will usually find things which can be done to restore to some extent.  The true spirit of repentance demands this.  Moses taught, ‘If a man shall steal an ox, or a sheep, he shall restore five oxen for an ox, and four sheep for a sheep.’  (Exodus 22:1)  Anyone asking forgiveness must also forgive those who might have sinned against him.  The Lord is under no obligation to forgive us unless our hearts are free from all hate and bitterness against all others.  The Lord’s Prayer makes this clear: ‘Our Father which art in heaven, Hallowed be thy name.  Thy kingdom come, thy will be done in earth, as it is in heaven.  Give us this day our daily bread, and forgive us our debts, as we forgive our debtors.  And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil;  For thine is the kingdom, and the power, and the glory, for ever.  Amen.’ ”  (Matthew 6:9-13)
.     5. DO THE WILL OF THE FATHER — “The Lord, in his preface to the Doctrine and Covenants, gave us the fifth and one of the most difficult requirements for forgiveness. He says, ‘For I the Lord cannot look upon sin with the least degree of allowance.  Nevertheless, he that repents and does the commandments of the Lord shall be forgiven.’ (Doctrine and Covenants 1:32-33)  The repenting person must start on the never ending task of keeping the commandments of the Lord.  Obviously this can hardly be done in a day, a week, a month, or a year, but must go on all one’s life.  ‘If thou wilt do good, yea, and hold out faithful to the end, thou shalt be saved in the kingdom of God…’  (Doctrine and Covenants 6:13)  When one does good works, it is evidence of his repentance.  Jesus expresses this thought: ‘Ye shall know them by their fruits.  Do men gather grapes of thorns, or figs of thistles?  A good tree cannot bring forth evil fruit, neither can a corrupt tree bring forth good fruit… Wherefore, by their fruits ye shall know them.’  (Matthew 7:16-20)  The Lord also said, ‘ But he that has committed adultery and repents with all his heart, and forsaketh it, and doeth it no more, thou shalt forgive.’ (Doctrine and Covenants 42:25)  Now the phrase ‘with all his heart’ is vital.  There can be no holding back.  If the sinner neglects his tithing, misses his meetings, breaks the Sabbath or fails in his prayers and other responsibilities, he is not completely repentant.  The Lord knows, as does the individual, the degree of sorrowful repentance and his forgiveness will be as great or as little as the person deserves.  God is just.  Faking repentance or bluffing doesn’t do any good at all, for both the transgressor and the Lord can recognize false or limited repentance.  One may fool other people sometimes, but he cannot fool himself or the Lord.  James indicated that each good deed, each testimony, each missionary effort, each help given to others i like a blanket over one’s own sins, or like a deposit against an overdraft inthe bank: ‘Brethren, if any of you do err from the truth, and one convert him; …he which converteth the sinner from t he error of his way shall save a soul from death, and shall hide a multitude of sins.’ (James 5:19-20)  And so, beloved young people, remember to obtain forgiveness from the Lod and his Church one must: 1) realize the seriousness of the sin and pray in great humility and sorrow,  2) forsake the sin and not repeat it, 3) confess the sin to the bishop or other Church authority, 4) restore so far as possible that which was damaged, and 5) live all the commandments of the Lord.  And when he has fasted enough, prayed enough, suffered enough, and when his heart is right, he may expect that forgiveness will come and with it that glorious peace that passeth understanding.”
.     The couple and the bishop knelt and each prayed sincerely.  The young couple — humble, repentant, and determined — expressed their thanks and departed, hand in hand.  God bless you all, young brothers and sister, that you may see with your own eyes and hear with your own ears and understand with your own hearts, and protect yourselves from the sins of the world.  This I pray in the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.