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Gentle discipline — 1968


Due to some unpleasant experiences in his past, my father had set a personal goal to not hit or spank his own children, and to correct them with gentleness.  He very much achieved this worthy goal pertaining to my relationship with him.  I have been so grateful over the years to think back on my relationship with my father, and to have only pleasant memories of his mild demeanor.  I also never heard him raise his voice in our home, nor to speak to my mother in anything but kind and gentle tones. His method of disciplining is typified in the following experience.

On a particular autumn afternoon in 1968, I initiated a small verbal altercation with my mother over some trivial problem which has long since escaped my memory.  I fortunately can’t even remember what I said to my mother, but I left for my job at Reams Grocery store shortly thereafter.   My dad came home from work to find my mother in tears over the unkind way I had treated her.  He promptly got in his car and drove to Reams.  When he located me, he asked if I could step outside the store with him.  When we were alone outside, he said something to this effect: “Michael, I thought you should know that I found your mother crying when I got home from work, distressed over what you said to her and the way in which you said it.  I am very disappointed in you, son, and I would hope that you would never treat your mother in this manner again.  Her happiness means everything to me.  It should to you as well.”  He wished me well and left.  I deserved much worse punishment, but the form my dad used was very effective, and to me very Christ-like.  I humbly and ashamedly apologized to my mother when I returned home.  What a blessing it was for me to grow up in a home with a gentle yet firm father, and a very loving and giving mother.  If I have any tendency toward compassion, patience, and mildness, it is very much due to the influence of two angelic parents.


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