cheytalk10272024

This talk was given by my wonderful daughter-in-law, Cheyenne, in her St. George ward on Sunday, October 27, 2024.  Never has a father-in-law been more proud of a daughter than I was on this day.

Good morning!  This past general conference was full of amazing spiritual guidance and answers to many of my prayers.  However, the most impactful moment of spiritual clarity for me, came from something that happened within my own home, not being broadcast to the world, but was made clear to me because of my making the effort to watch conference.

My mom came over to our home for the Sunday afternoon session.  Hazer was singing, pulling his cleaning cart across the room, and climbing on everything in the room.  This was typical toddler behavior – nothing he was doing was wrong, except I was trying to keep him listening to conference and not being a distraction to everyone.  My mom could tell that I was getting ‘whelmed’, as I call it, not quite to the point of overwhelmed but getting there, trying to keep Hazer at bay with crackers, juice, quiet toys, and then finally making him Macaroni and cheese so that I could feed him in his high chair and keep him still and quite enough to listen to conference.  My mom came up to me in the kitchen while I was making his food, and I cried and apologized to her that my home wasn’t’ a spiritual setting and that no one could feel the spirit because Hazer was distracting everyone.  She then said, “That little boy is the closest one to Heaven here.  He walked with Jesus and Heavenly Father less than two years ago.  He knows Jesus.  Hazer is perfect.  Focus on that little boy and his needs.  Your stressing out is not letting you feel the spirit.  I knew that Hazer would be Hazer when I came here.  I wanted to be here with you and him.  If I wanted silence, I would have listened at home.”  I then reflected on what she said and gave myself a reality check.  Hazer wasn’t doing anything wrong, he was just being a little boy.  He didn’t understand why he needed to be silent and still, and wasn’t doing anything that would need correction in any other instance.  He was just playing at home, something that he is praised for and even encouraged to do at other times.  Why was I stressing out over such small things that play no meaning into the grand aspect of things?  Especially regarding God’s plan.  I wasn’t’ able to feel the spirit because I was so focused on what Hazer was doing, and how my family may be thinking of how it was not a place of reverence, when in reality it was my mind not being open to receive revelation and the Holy Ghost.

The talk by Bishop L. Todd Budge in the Sunday morning session came back to me.  He said, “The Lord knew in this fast-paced world full of distractions and in commotion, that making time for him would be one of the major challenges of our day.”  In this talk, he mentioned a quote from President Nelson regarding what to say when someone says that they are too busy to listen to the teaching of the missionaries.  He said, “I would ask them if they were too busty to eat lunch that day, and then teach them that they have both a body and a spirit, and just as their body will die if not nourished, so will their spirit if not nourished by the word of God.”  At that time, my mind was too busy to be open to the word of God.  In the following weeks after the conference, I have been making a special effort to clear my mind and nourish my spirit by slowing down, making small and simple steps, and putting my focus and attention on what matters most.

President Nelson has repeatedly pled with us to make time for the Lord in our lives each and every day.  He reminds us that “quiet time is sacred time”.  To hear the still small voice of the Lord, “…you too must be still.”  For me, it’s not the act of stopping and setting aside the time for quiet, no interruptions, and no noise, but more of shutting my ever-stressing mind off and being open to feeling the Holy Ghost.  Being still requires more than just making time for the Lod, it requires letting go of our doubtful and fearful thoughts, and focusing our hearts and minds on him and the things that matter the most in the grand aspect of things.  How do we slow down our busy schedules and minds to make space for the Holy Ghost to speak with us, and make time for the Lord?  How are we supposed to make time for everything we’re responsible for, while adding in callings, scripture study, temple attendance, ministering, and everything else into the mix?  When our schedules are filled to the brim, making time for spiritual habits and responsibilities might seem out of the question.  When I have a lot going on, the adversary can make my callings and spiritual habits look like a burden, or sometimes I am simply burned out by work and raising a high energy child and other tasks, that I start to let the things that connect me with the spirit fall on the back burner.  When I am feeling this way, I try to remember these words, “Small and simple”.

Elder David A. Bednar taught, “I believe many, if not all, of the most satisfying and memorable accomplishments in our homes, church, in our jobs and professions, and in our communities will be the product of this important spiritual pattern – small and simple things.  We should find great comfort in the fact that ordinary people who faithfully, diligently, and consistently do simple things that are right before God, will bring forth extraordinary results.”  These words remind me that when I am feeling overwhelmed with life, or too stressed to add more onto my plate, if I am doing the small and simple things, I am actually doing the most important things, and through them, great things will follow.  Sometimes all I need to do is give myself a change of perspective.

Elder Dieter F. Uchtdorf taught, “Being a disciple of Jesus Christ is not just one of many things we do.  The Savior is the motivating power behind ALL that we do.  When we look at our lives and see a hundred things to do, we feel overwhelmed.  When we see one thing – loving and serving God and his children in a hundred different ways –  then we can work on those things with joy.”  Heavenly Father knows everything that I am trying to balance and juggle in my life.  With that knowledge, it reminds me that he sees my efforts and will help me work everything out well.  President Uchtdorf also reminds us that there will be seasons in life where we have more time for some tasks than others.  “How to distribute your time and energy among your many important tasks will vary from person to person and from one season of life to another.  But our common overall objective is to follow the way of our Master, Jesus Christ, and return to the presence of our beloved Father in Heaven.  This objective must remain constant and consistent, whoever we are and whatever else is happening in our lives.”

So what small and simple things matter most?  As we turn to our Heavenly Father and seek his wisdom regarding the things that matter most, we learn over and over again, the importance of four key relationships:  1) Our relationship with God  2) Our relationship within our families  3) Our relationship with our fellowmen  4) Our relationship with ourselves.

Our relationship with God is the most sacred and vital.  He desires our happiness. As we open our hearts to the Holy Spirit, our lives become more stable and secure.  We experience greater peace, joy, and fulfillment as we do our best to live our lives according to God’s plan.  We improve our relationship with our Heavenly Father by learning of him, repenting of our sins, and actively following Jesus Christ.  To strengthen our relationship with God, we need meaningful alone time with him.  Quietly focusing on daily prayer and scripture study will draw us closer to our Heavenly Father.  The gospel of Jesus Christ gives us opportunities to return to him often.  These include daily prayers, scripture study, partaking of the sacrament, the Sabbath day, and temple worship.  You may be thinking, “I don’t have time for that.”  I too have often felt the same.  But, what if what is needed isn’t necessarily more time devoted to your spiritual growth, but more awareness and focus on God as you do these things?  For example, when praying, what if we spent less time talking and more time just being with God and open to revelation?  What if we did more to prepare our minds while partaking of the sacrament, rather than thinking about all of the things that need to be done in the coming week, or what you will be preparing for lunch after church?  What if we actively set the Sabbath day aside as a day of rest, and with that we also gave ourselves a mental break from the burden of the coming week and took the time to sit quietly with the Lord?  Even the Savior took time to be still.  The Lord went to solitary places, the mountains, the wilderness, a desert, or going ‘a little way off’ to pray to the Lord.  If Jesus sought quiet time to speak with God, it would be wise for us to do the same.

Our second relationship is with our families.  We build deep and loving relationships with our families by doing small and simple things like family dinners, family vacations, family movie nights, and just having fun together.  But how do we make a family relationship stronger through the gospel?  Praying together, studying the scriptures together, going to church together, and taking the time to see God’s hand in all aspects of our life.  Building our homes and families as a place of righteousness and protection from the world takes constant effort and upkeep.  The Lord has provided a plan that will help us be successful in meeting every challenge that may come our ways.  The Lord’s standards for building a temple apply also to building strength in our home and families.  Doctrine and Covenants 88:119 states, “Organize yourselves; prepare every needful thing; and establish a house, even a house of prayer, a house of fasting, a house of faith, a house of learning, a house of glory, a house of order, a house of God.”  To make our homes a house of prayer and fasting, our families should gather for family prayer morning and night, in addition to offering personal prayers for our personal needs.  Every home is a house of learning, whether that be good or bad.  We can teach our children and family members how to make good gospel-driven choices like prayer, looking out for others, being obedient, honest, and faithful in living the gospel , or we can teach them how to lie, not put others first, and push the gospel teachings aside.  Our daily small and simple actions are what foundations we are building for our families, whether it be good or bad.  Mosiah 4:14-15 states, “But ye will teach them to walk in the ways of truth and soberness, ye will teach them to love one another, and to serve one another.”  We can make our homes houses of faith by believing in the goodness of God, and believing that we can live in peace and security by following the gospel principles.  We need to have faith to be obedient, to keep trying, and keep a positive outlook.  Sometimes we get discouraged and feel like giving up, and that it is too much, but as my own father once said, “If you get bucked off the horse, you better get back on and ride.”  We can never give up and stop striving to do better, or let being ‘bucked off’ stop us from trying again.  You will find the greatest joys of your efforts to make your home a place of faith in the Lord Jesus Christ.  The restoration of the gospel started in a humble home, with a humble family, and a humble question, and it can continue in each of our homes as we continue to practice the gospel principles there.

The third relationship is with our fellowmen.  We build this relationship one person at a time, by serving others, being receptive and sensitive to their needs, giving a listening ear, and volunteering our time and our talents.  In the Gospel Library guide, service is described as the following: “Care given or work done for the benefit of God and others.  As we serve others, we also serve God.”  Service should be given unselfishly, with no thought of personal gain or reward.  It is to be given as needed, not when it is convenient to us.  Service does not have to be a long event that you have to plan ahead and set time aside for.  Service can simply be selfless service projects which are people-to-people projects.  They are face-to-face, eye-to-eye, voice-to-ear, heart-to-heart, spirit-to-spirit, and hand-in-hand, people-to-people projects.  This ward has given me and my family service by welcoming us into the ward with small and simple acts of kindness, such as reaching out through text messages, a quick welcoming hug, speaking to us in passing at church, commenting on Facebook posts, and offering to help out with hazer.  Small and simple things that are not normally looked at as acts of service because it is not a ‘service project’, but they can leave the same impact as the acts of service I received as a child when our ward came together to help demolish our burned down home.  No act of service is too small.  We all know that when we are in the service of our fellow beings we are in the service of God. (Mosiah 2:17)

The fourth key relationship is with ourselves.  It may seem odd that this is a key relationship, but it is something that is vital to God’s plan.  Some people can’t get along with themselves.  Some people have demons that are living within them that they can’t shake off.  Some people can’t turn their mind off to find a peaceful quiet moment.  Take a little time to get to know yourself better.  Take a walk in nature, watch the sunset, enjoy God’s creations, ponder on the truths of the gospel.  I try to do the little things with my Savior in mid, as consistently as I can, and because of these small and simple things I have gained a stronger personal relationship with my Heavenly Father and with Jesus.  I can see their loving hand guiding me in my life.  If you are feeling overwhelmed trying to balance all the necessities of life, remember to do the  small and simple things.  Remember how much Heavenly Father and Jesus are aware of your efforts.  As you follow them, they will continue to support you.  If life and its rushed pace and many stresses have made it difficult for you to feel at peace, then perhaps now is the time to refocus on what matters most.  Simplify your life  a little.  Make the changes necessary to refocus your life on the beauty of Christ, and the path that leads you towards peace, gladness, and meaning.  In the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.