Funeral talk for Judy — July of 1994
On the 18th of July, 1994, we received word that our dear friend, Judy _____, had passed away due to breast cancer. Judy was in our ward in Sandy, and she was a beautiful person. It saddened us greatly to hear of her passing away. Judy had requested that I speak at her funeral. This was one of the most challenging and humbling things I have had to do in my life. I only had three days in which to prepare my talk, and I was a bundle of nerves during those three days. The Lord blessed me greatly in organizing my thoughts, but I was very worried that I would not be able to deliver my message effectively because of my penchant for crying at the pulpit. I fasted and prayed that I would be able to maintain my composure, and the Lord heard my prayers. I was able to share my feelings about Judy without blubbering or sobbing, as I usually do in emotional or touching settings. I was grateful for this blessing. The service was beautiful, consoling, and peaceful. Following is the text of the message that I delivered.
INTRODUCTION
In a recent general conference, our beloved prophet, President Howard W. Hunter, paid tribute to faithful Latter-day Saints who simply live their lives doing good, rendering service, and spreading love, quietly and unpretentiously earning their salvation, without fanfare, without the limelight, without widespread public recognition. Such was the life of our loved-one and dear friend, Judy Knorr. Her life now stands as a monument to the power of her love, the widespread influence of her kindness, and the rewards of her selfless service.
PERSONAL MEMORIES
May I share with you a few of the memories that I will always treasure in my mind as I think of my friend Judy? First, I will vividly remember how I felt inside as I would listen to the lessons that Judy taught to the young women of our ward. Judy served for almost three years as the Personal Progress advisor in our Young Women’s organization, and my assignment in the bishopric often gave me the opportunity to be in Young Women’s when Judy would teach her monthly lesson. These were no ordinary lessons. These were snapshots of her own life. These were heartfelt pleadings with the young women to be pure, devoted, and faithful. I myself, and I am sure most of the young women, left on those occasions having FELT a lesson, not merely having heard a lesson. I will remember the countless Young Women interviews I participated in wherein the young women would tell me how much Sister Knorr had helped them to achieve their personal progress goals. Judy viewed her calling not as a goal taskmaster, but as a friend, confidante, an equal. Young women achieved their goals not because of prodding and goading from a Young Women’s leader, but because of loving persuasion from a friend, a friend who cared personally for them. I will never think of Judy but what I will recollect her always-present smile, her bubbly personality, and her positive attitude. Disparaging comments or negative remarks were foreign to Judy. Hers was a life of looking upward and outward, looking for the wholesome and the uplifting. I will remember Judy’s indomitable spirit in the face of her recent physical and emotional challenges. On two occasions, Judy asked that I give her a priesthood blessing, but on both of those occasions I felt like I was the one who had been strengthened, that I was the one who had been blessed. Did she understand completely why this illness had come into her life? Perhaps not. Was she bitter because of it? Never. Was she apprehensive about the future? Understandably so. Despondent over the prospects? No. As was second nature to Judy, she was more concerned about the impact of her illness on her family than on herself. I will remember the various pieces of medical equipment in Judy’s home, oxygen tanks and other things, that were decorated with paper skirts, yarn hair, smiley faces. This came about, I am sure, either by Judy personally or because of Judy’s influence. She remained undaunted to the end. I will remember forever our experience just last Sunday, when, despite being extremely short-of-breath, unable to speak, debilitated by her illness, Judy insisted on sitting up when my wife, Susan, and I came into her room. That is the irrepressible spirit of Judy that I will remember.
WHY?
Occasions such as this cause all of us to ask that unanswerable question of why? Why now? Why Judy? Why must there be two wonderful teenagers without their mother, a husband without his companion, parents without their daughter, a home without its homemaker? Why must someone with such a zest for life, with so much goodness yet to share, be taken? How I wish that we could fully answer these questions. Our present understanding is so limited, but yet we know that we all gladly, willingly accepted the chance to gain a body and experience mortality, despite all its vicissitudes, sorrows, and pain. Even with this knowledge we still might ask, “But did we know it was going to be this hard?” At times like this, when I struggle with difficult questions, I hear the Father whisper, “For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, Saith the Lord. For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways, and my thoughts than your thoughts.” Having the assurance that our lives, our eternal lives, are safely sheltered in the palms of our Heavenly Father perhaps the answers to the earlier questions are unnecessary at present.
WHAT NOW?
Although we may not be able to answer the question of why, I know that we can answer the question of ‘What Now?’ Though it seems impossible now, heart aches will lessen and sorrows will diminish, not because we’ll miss Judy less, but because our Savior’s peace will envelop us and our understanding of this difficult trial will increase. Just as the Savior said that we would face no temptation that we would not be able to bear, I believe there is no tribulation or sorrow that He will allow to overwhelm us. He will make it possible for us to bear the weight of even the darkest and deepest of sorrows.
THREE BLESSINGS
What now? How can we carry on? I firmly believe that three beautiful blessings will come into the lives of Judy’s family and friends during this time of sadness. First, the family will be even more closely united in tender concern and care for each other. The remembrances, the hugs, the tears, and the acts of kindness will allow a sharing of grief, and unburdening of heavy sorrows. A sorrow or burden that would be overwhelming or perhaps impossible for one to bear will be borne and overcome by many bound in common love. The Savior said, “Blessed are they that mourn, for they shall be comforted”. All of us mourn Judy’s passing, not out of worry about her destiny, but because we will sorely miss our association with her in months and years ahead. But certainly an added endowment of comfort and peace comes to the faithful who are mourning the loss of a faithful loved-one. In addition to this divine help, Judy’s family, which is an eternal family, will be a wonderful tool in the Lord’s hands to provide much needed solace. But what of those private times, personal and secluded, when Judy’s family members or any of us will yearn for Judy’s companionship, when perhaps family support is not readily available? It is at these times that the second great blessing, the peace of the Savior, will console, lift, support, encourage. With the passing of a loved-one, our hearts are broken, and our spirits are contrite, and this is the very setting in which we are most closely attuned to the Divine. In a manner we don’t fully comprehend, our sorrows will be healed, through the influence of the Holy Ghost, and in this process of healing we will be brought nearer to our God. Feel the significance of this marvelous promise made by the Savior: “Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid.” There is no pain so intense, no sorrow so profound, no emptiness so hollow, but that the Lord can carry us through. Thirdly, we are so blessed to possess the doctrines of the restored gospel of Jesus Christ, the reality and majesty of our Savior, the reality of the resurrection, the absolute knowledge that families can and will be together forever, the understanding that our spirits are eternal, our bonds with children, spouses, and parents are eternal, the glory we merit is eternal. “O sweet the joy this sentence gives, We know that our Redeemer lives, and because He lives, Judy lives and we too shall live.”
Would you all think of Judy as I quote this beautiful passage from Alma? “It has been made known unto me that the spirits of all men and women, as soon as they are departed from this mortal body, yea, the spirits of all men and women, are taken home to that God who gave them life. The spirits of those who are righteous are received into a state of happiness, which is called paradise, a state of rest, a state of peace, where they shall rest from all their troubles and from all care, and sorrow.” It is very easy for me to picture that wonderful event happening to Judy, being met by an emissary of the Lord, being embraced, and hearing these transcendent words, “Well done thou good and faithful servant.” May the memories and recollections of Judy remain bright in our hearts and minds, that those memories will cause us to be faithful, as she was faithful, to be loving, as she was loving, to be courageous, as she was courageous. And may this glorious promise of the Savior come to pass in our all our lives, wherein he said, “I will not leave you comfortless. I will come unto you”.
In the name of the Lord Jesus Christ, Amen.
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